Dominant Wesley unstoppable against Guinness

Dominant Wesley seem unstoppable 

Metro League Div 6 – Old Wesley 33 Guinness 14

by player-reporter Alan Doyle

Bleak and cold it was, yet the spirits of the Old Wesley players refused to be dampened. Even a faulty generator could do little to stop the flow of energy that surged through the changing room, as the lads prepared to step foot onto the hallowed ground that is Donnybrook’s back pitch. A sharp and flawless (though not as flawless as Mark Toal-Lennon’ hair) warm up proved to be incisive and a determining factor in what would be a less than convincing win for the men of D Brook.

And so the match kicked off, early pressure being applied on both sides, with Old Wesley appearing to gain the upper hand early through strong carries by righteous men such as Andrew ‘Wrecking Ball’ Boyle and David Taylor. A daring kick chase was led by David ‘The Bearded Wonder’ Flower, who somehow managed to scramble the ball down for the first score of the afternoon. Unfortunately, the ever reliable boot of Graham Claxton faltered as he failed to hit the target from a meagre 14 yards out. Guinness eventually managed to capitalise on numerous handling errors by successfully driving over from a relatively stable maul that the Red, Navy and White were unable to stop. 7-5 Guinness. The next passage of play will no doubt be remembered as the long galloping strides of Mark ‘Knee Slide to Victory’ Fitzgibbon proved to be too much for the burly men of Guinness as he trotted over for a much needed five points. A successful conversion from Claxton rounded off the scoring in the first half, making up for his previous blunder.

As half time rolled on, wise words from the directorate did not fall on deaf ears as Old Wes began the second half with renewed vigour and pride. Their passion ultimately toppled the solid Guinness defence as neat interplay allowed for Stephen Young to cross the whitewash, quickly converted by Andrew ‘ 7 Octaves Higher’ Handcock. Peter ‘Heart on my Sleeve’ Wallace almost added to the score but was denied by a blatant slap down resulting in a yellow card to the visitors. On came the fresh legs of Alan ‘King of Dummies’ Doyle to add some pace and power into the mix. Surviving multiple handling errors and some dancing feet by David ‘my arms are bigger than my ball carries’ Priestman, another score by Fitzgibbon was added as he scythed through the Guinness defence like a hot knife through butter. Another successful conversion by the boot of ‘angelic voice’ Handcock followed. 26-7 to Old Wesley.

Guinness were soon to respond with a rather soft try as they somehow managed to power over the line after poor martialling of the Old Wes defence, making it 26-14. A cynical play by Young led to him being binned, adding to the pressure the Red, Navy and White faced. As nerves began to set in, all it took was a quick break from Trevor Roe, whose clever accidental screen pass to Al ‘I like raw broccoli’ O’Connor unleashed the quick feet of Doyle as he powered through the Guinness defensive line, throwing shapes as if he was in the middle of the Coppers dancefloor, fooling everyone with the sheer audacity of the dummies. With one thing on his mind, the high pitched cries of one individual were met with deaf ears as Doyle charged for the line. Bouncing players off left, right and centre, he was eventually taken down right before the 5m line, but not before offloading onto the oncoming Phil ‘The Power’ Power rounding off the score at 33-16; a truly breathtaking sight to behold and a moment that, in this reporters mind, will no doubt be replayed over and over again.

All in all, a relatively solid performance from the lads, who now prepare for the return leg in the Iveagh Grounds this Saturday in the Winters Cup first round.

And so, I hand the mantle on to a veteran of the game, a young David Priestman, who shall aptly enlighten you with a report of next week’s game.

Editor’s Note: A meeting of the Front Row Union has been convened to consider the actions of one its newest member, Alan ‘King of Dummies’ Doyle as outlined above. A guilty verdict from Justice Smashy will incur swift return to the back row!

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